I was reading Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s Substack and he made this point as well .” Too often it (stubbornness) is associated with courage, integrity, determination, or other good qualities.” Out of curiosity, I Googled “Is being stubborn a bad thing?”, and I got quite a few articles about why it isn't such a bad thing. The problem with all these articles is that they are not talking about stubbornness as a quality but instances when it might work for someone.
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, a stubborn person is determined to do what he or she wants and refuses to do anything else. They are unwilling to change their mind even when presented with evidence and facts that it is wise to do so. We all have opinions, but an intelligent person listens to the opinions of others at least once. For example, I despise Trump, but I am more than willing to defend my position and listen to the opinions of others. If a trump supporter can show me evidence I'm wrong, I'd be happy to listen. This is yet to happen.
Although my family's politics are also left-leaning, we don't agree on everything. I listen to what they say and sometimes I've changed my point of view. I don't listen to Fox News anymore because they have consistently presented false information. In other words, although I have opinions, they are based on acquiring information not simply what I've decided to be the truth. Have I been stubborn before? Absolutely, but it is not a good trait.
The theme of the stubbornness articles I Googled is that being stubborn can be good if “you're sticking to your guns, or standing up for yourself”. I agree those are good things but they have nothing to do with being stubborn. A stubborn person is capable of doing these things but so is an alcoholic or a serial killer.
A person can stand up for their principles and still listen to the opinions of others. The more you listen to others and are not closed-minded the likelier your opinion will be based on truth and wisdom. As far as standing up for yourself, it has nothing to do with being stubborn. Refusing to accept unfair treatment can stem from lots of qualities, such as courage, confidence, or integrity. Once again a stubborn person is capable of these things but stubbornness makes it more likely that the treatment they perceive is unfair isn't actually unfair at all. Like the difference between the civil rights movement and people refusing to wear masks during COVID-19.
An article from the “Better help” column said “Someone who behaves from stubbornness can sometimes benefit from displaying this trait. For example, they can be decisive and determined. if they've set their mind to accomplishing a good thing they're unwilling to give up until that goal is reached. That means stubborn people can achieve great things for themselves and their communities, persevere in the face of adversity, and be effective leaders. Note that in cases like these stubbornness is often referred to using the word with a more positive connotation such as determined, hard-working, or dedicated.”
The reason for the different words is because being determined, hard-working and dedicated have nothing to do with being stubborn. Let's say someone is told they're not big enough to play football. If they're stubborn they likely won't work out and they will simply join the team and complain. They also won't listen to their coach or not liston as much, because they're stubborn. If they are decisive and determined they will ask for help in terms of what it will take to get bigger and stronger. Their determination will cause them to put in the work and dedication to make it happen. This can apply to anything.
Regardless of what you want to accomplish, you will need some sort of guidance. History is full of talented people who ruined their careers because they were too stubborn to listen to the advice from people around them. A stubborn person may also be determined, and decisive but that won't get them as far.
The other part of the article “ Stubborn people can achieve great things for themselves and their communities, persevere in the face of adversity, and be effective leaders.” Just because people can do these things doesn't mean it's good or the best path. Achieving your goals is far more likely by listening to the guidance of others instead of thinking you know everything. Listening to others doesn't mean listening to everybody or even the majority of people. It does mean keeping an open mind so that when the right help is being offered, you will know when to take it.
Jackie Robinson, who was hated by most of Major League baseball, still listened to his coaches. In fact, he often had to hold back his opinions and anger or it would have cost him everything. If he were stubborn he would not have lasted a month. The same goes for others in the civil rights movement. As far as being effective leaders, stubbornness is not a leadership quality. Refusing to listen to others and only trusting your own opinion may work out sometimes but it is definitely a huge disadvantage.
History is full of leaders whose downfall came from ignoring intelligent advice from others. Not only do they fail, but they drag everyone else down with them. The great leaders in history all listened to the advice of others. That doesn't mean they always followed it but they considered it when making their decisions. This article, and the others, commit the fallacy of saying because a stubborn person can do this, it's the right path. Everything a stubborn person can accomplish, an open-minded person is far more likely to accomplish by using the help around them.
Just because something works out, doesn't make it a good thing. One rule of gambling is "don't bet what you can't afford to lose”. This is a great way not to fall into debt or get into serious trouble. However, a person betting their rent money against heavy odds might win big. By the previous logic, betting big against large odds isn't always a bad thing. I would argue it is, even for the person that it worked out for this time. If they continue to do this it will cost them big in the future.
The last part of the article quoted a study that suggested that children who consistently display stubborn behaviors and their youth may be more likely to have higher incomes as adults. That doesn't surprise me at all. Of course, the same thing can be said about kids who display dishonest and sociopathic behavior.
We're all capable of being stubborn. Competitive, high-energy, determined, people will probably display this behavior more often, but that still doesn't make it good. I would never argue that if you display stubborn behavior you'll never get anywhere in life. The problem with these articles and with people who treat stubbornness as an admirable quality, is they are usually interchanging stubbornness with determination, confidence, integrity, perseverance and other good qualities.
Stubborn kids may very well have a lot of potential, but they will have to either open their minds and learn, or it will lead to their downfall. Stubborn leaders are not good leaders. Stubborn people struggle with relationships, and stubbornness in our society is one of the main causes of our problems.
In reality they are two completely different things. An athlete can be tenacious while listing to their coach. While a stubborn person is only going to follow the advice they agree with. Just because people use the wrong term doesn't mean it has merit. There are a lot of stubborn people who still refuse to except the election results.
I think we should separate stubbornness from tenacity. Stubbornness is the term we use when someone keep doing something in a wrong direction and tenacity when the try again until success.
But there’s maybe a survivorship biais here. The successful ones are called tenacious and the failing ones stubborn.